I can still remember how those weeji bampots made me laugh
And I know if I had a chance to see those neds and sengas dance
I’d laugh my fucking arse off once again
‘cos don’t they realise it’s not clever
drinking Buckfast doon the river
tucked in trackie bottoms
they look just fucking rotten
I can’t remember if I cried when I saw those bams in East Kilbride
But it amused me deep inside, the day the mucker thrived
And they were singin’……
Bye bye, eatin’ Fray Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon the toon oh wi’ the techno up high
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’. “Ther’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
“There’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
Did you write the book of shite
Can I borrow ten bob, gonnae gee’za light
Bugger off yer full o’ pish
Oh and do you believe in hardcore techno
Huv ye gubbed five ectos fur a night at the Metro
And can you teach me how to speak reeeaaalll slow
You can tell that she’s in love wi’ him
‘Cos he’s fae Ibrox and she’s a Tim
they both kicked off their socks and those manky old Reeboks
he was a scrawny youth with a GAP pullover
a sovvy ring and a stolen Nova they fell in love when he muff dove’r
the day the mucker thrived
And they were singin’……
Bye bye, eatin’ Fray Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon the toon oh wi’ the techno up high
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’. “Ther’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
“There’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
Now for ten years you’ve been on the dole
Hingin’ aboot the Paisley Toll
And that’s just how it’s always been
When the mucker screamed at the Polis van
In a coat he’d stolen fae Top Man
And a fag that came from you or me
But while the cop was looking dapper
The wee bam chibbed him on the napper
Dressed all in Kappa clobber
As he shouted “suck ma dobber”
While wee Tan stole a shirt fae Mark’s
And Boab slashed some cunt in the park
They all buzzed petrol in the dark
The day the mucker thrived
And they were singin’……
Bye bye, eatin’ Fray Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon the toon oh wi’ the techno up high
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’. “Ther’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
“There’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
Helter Skelter, if the wean cries belt’er
Writing memshies on the old bus shelter
Eight days straight drinking Faaaaaaaaaaaast
Doin’ six month for selling smack
The chip pan diet and the heart attack
A night out at Archaos wi’ the burd
The Sengas reek off cheap perfume
While name tags jangle round the room
Each one grabs her geezer
A fag and lemon Breezer
The lack of class is hard to hide
They cannae wait to get inside
A stair-hied winch and a door-way ride
That’s how the muckers thrive
And they were singin’……
Bye bye, eatin’ Fray Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon the toon oh wi’ the techno up high
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’. “Ther’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
“There’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
You’ll see them in their usual places
With silly hats and ugly faces
Ootside the offy acting hard
So Shug be nimble, hug be quick
And get an ounce of speed on tick
Then cut it up and sell it to yer pals
All lined up ootside the Pakis
A rainbow of exotic trackies
Giein’ abuse tae grannies
Ya fucked up bunch of fannies
And as the day turns in to night
The neds may gang up to start a fight
But on their own they’re saft as shite
I’ve made the mucker cry
And they were singin’……
Bye bye, eatin’ Fray Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon the toon oh wi’ the techno up high
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’. “Ther’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
“There’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
(Slowly with feeling)
I met a girl who sang The sash, I asked about her pant moustache,
But she just told me to fuck off! I went down to the local chippy
Where the neds hung out and the staff were nippy, And the muckers
there harassed me for some fags, Baseball hats at stupid angles, The
girls each wore three dozen bangles, Hair done up with scrunchies,
Munching crisps and Crunchies. But the three meals they enjoy the
most, Are Chinky, chippy, beans on toast, Come Glasgow fair they hit
the coast, the day the mucker thrived
And they were singin’……
Bye bye, eatin’ Fray Bentos pie
Drove the Uno roon the toon oh wi’ the techno up high
Wearing wooly bunnets though it’s nearly July
Singin’. “Ther’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
“There’s that posh wee cunt fae Milngavie”
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